Al Jourgenson is not just an industrial pioneer. This dude’s been around. He’s a man’s man. A man on a mission. A man without eyebrows. Depending on how old you are, there’s a good chance he’s a man that had sex with your mom when she was in high school. The point is, this dude is crazy. And he wrote a book about it.
He made a pretty big jump in the 80’s from catchy 80’s new wave (Everyday is Halloween) to skull drilling Industrial music (The Mind is a Terrible Thing to Taste), and even touched on a little heavy pop success (Psalm 69). He always looked like the kind of dude you didn’t want to mess with, with that giant skull hanging from his microphone stand and piercings that looked liked staples in his goddamn face.
So this book he wrote, to be honest I haven’t read it yet, but I read an excerpt, and it actually seemed interesting and funny as hell. It might just be because he basically makes an ass out of Fred Durst from Limp Bizkit, and you’d think after all these years I might have come around to at least say he’s a nice guy or I felt sorry for him, but not really. I kind of love that Al really messed with him.
Here’s an excerpt:
"The Limp-dickster motherfucker, whatever his name is. I got him naked and in a cowboy hat [in a recording studio]! I'm showing him, 'Look, you want my sound? This is my sound. This is what I use.' And he wouldn't believe it because just by hitting the magic button on the harmonizer that it wouldn't make him sound exactly like me. He was that naive. I'm like, 'Well, try the cowboy hat.' So I gave him my cowboy hat. . . and it still sounded like shit. So I go, 'Why don't you try and get naked? That's how I sing.' I was just bullshitting him. So he goes out and does that, and is thoroughly embarrassed, again. And then he just left. I got paid to just humiliate him for three songs. It was awesome."
Yeah, reading it again, I still don’t really feel bad for him. He also talks about hooking up with Aimee Mann, which seemed like an interesting combo, those two. But you know, never judge a book by it’s cover. Or lack of eyebrows.
MINISTRY: THE LOST GOSPELS ACCORDING TO AL JOURGENSON is available HERE
By; Randy Nieto
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